Convince Me
by Scarecrowrawr
Summary: Gin has doubts about Aizen's plan as his vice captain. Uke Gin, but not quite yaoi.


CONVINCE ME: An Aizen/Gin Fic.

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Gin was nervous, after his last meeting with Aizen, he felt his status of vice captain tested immensely. It had been three weeks since he had become his vice captain and only two since Aizen had divulged his master plans for betraying the seireitei. And the whole ordeal left him feeling very confused.

In school, he had been a good student and had gone far, his teachers had written up references and gotten him to take the exams for the 13 court guard squads three months earlier then anyone else in his class. They had told him in school much about the guard squads and given him run throughs of emergencies and expirience commanding new students. Overall, he had the best education he could get and had already achieved shikai before graduation.

But no matter what, school couldn't prepare you for the real world. It was universal of course, but he had always been taught in school to follow the rules, to listen to your captain, to practice submission rather then pride. The shinigami were part of an age old system, and there was no time for renegades who couldn't follow their leaders.

But was he really supposed to follow the captain like this? He only agreed because it was what he was taught to do. His captains words where absolute and there was no way he could go against him, even if it was the right thing to do... right?

The same arguement had been going in his head ever since he had been told about the plan. Every night he tossed and turned, thinking over and over again about the day he would have to leave, and possibly kill, all of his new found friends. He could just see his teachers lining up and watching him ascend into hueco mundo. A disgrace.

He lay in bed everynight, thinking of possibilities until midnight came and went. He would try to clear his head, relaxing his body until he felt like jello, trying to fall asleep and reach a state of zen like absence of thought. But then he would feel thirsty, or his blankets would be restricting, then he would repeat the process over until he had maybe an hour of sleep left to catch.

He would get up, very tired, but still thinking, trying to prepare himself for the day by taking a bath and getting dressed. He would then call a meeting for the day and give orders before Aizen showed up, his smile fading fast as his face grew grayer and grayer with everyday he didn't sleep, his hands shook when he tried to eat or sign papers and he often fell asleep at his desk or on the training grounds, often woken up by the disgruntled third seat.

Perhaps Aizen had noticed? And that was why he had been called this late at night? What if he was transfered? He instantly felt cold, even thought there was no breeze that night.

He didn't want to appear weak to Aizen, didn't want to admit he doubted the plan or was scared. He might force him to transfer or warn him to keep his mouth shut if he chickend out. He didn't want to get on the bad side of his captain, not at all. Not after dreaming of the day he finally got into the guard squads. He had always dreamed of getting a nice captain, with easy going work and a nice couple of kids he could mentor from the academy. He could write recommendations for his friends that were still in school and one day, achieve bankai. It wasn't going as planned, not one bit.

Why? Why after all this work couldn't he have his way?

He stopped for a moment to peer into a window, he could see his reflection by one of the torches that illuminated the seireitei at night. He opened his eyes a little, rubbing at them as though to wipe the sleep-deprived look away. He looked miserable.

He hadn't even told Rangiku. When he was little, they never kept anything from each other, they relied on each other and created a mock family. Like brother and sister, but closer, and nicer. They shared food, and always offered more to the other, they shared whatever money they could find, they cleaned their little shack and always reminded each other to take their shoes off before they came in. For her birthday, he even made her a sea shell necklace from shells he found from the shore side, he spent a whole afternoon cleaning them for the gift, she hated the smell of fish.

They often trained together and occassionally drank together, though he was always her restaint.

He sighed deeply, trying to remind himself he couldn't tell Rangiku, it was impossible. He didn't know what to do. He felt the edges of his eyes growing wet and he quickly wiped them, trying to calm himself down. Why the hell couldn't he pull himself together?

He continued on after a few steadying breaths, stuffing his hands inside his sleeves and shaking his head a little.

He stopped at Aizen's door, right on time. He hesitated slightly before entering, feeling very ambiguous about the meeting altogether. He straightened his vice captains badge and took in a confident breath, raising his hand quickly to knock.

"Come in."

Gin Pushed aside the light door, entering quickly into the comfortable candle light and shutting the door behind him. Aizen was sitting by his desk filing official looking documents and putting his john hanncock on many of them with a very elegant brush, then stamping them with the fifth squad seal. He smiled as Gin turned and gestured for him to sit after he removed his shoes.

Ichimaru sat on the floor, folding his legs under him respectfully.

"You might want to get more comfortable, this might be a little bit. If you want, you can use that blanket in the corner."

"Um... No thank you, captain."

He appreciated the offer, but sat stone still, prefering to remain vigilant, nothing about this meeting could be good, there was a good chance that he would either be divulging more plans and information or warning him not to slip up in work again, either one would just expose more of his weak side.

He politely took shinsou off of his belt and laid it behind him. Waiting patiently for his captain to finish.

Ten minutes went by and Gin's ankles hurt supporting his weight in such an uncomfortable position, so he relaxed a little, sitting cross legged and letting his chin rest in his palm while he fiddled with his tabi socks.

Another ten and his back started to hurt, he felt stupid, but sitting hunched for so long was uncomfortable, he prefered a nice chair. He grudgingly took the blanket in the corner and sat up against the wall, huddling up and feeling a lot better in the warm fleece.

Five minutes and he had fallen asleep, slowly sliding down the wall until he was on the floor, huddled up and snoozing silently, his hair fluffed up and his tensed face finally relaxed.

"There, finished." Aizen declared, setting the brush down and capping the bottle, he turned smiling only ro find his vice captain curled up in a ball, much like a cat. He raised his eyebrows but smiled widely, he set down the finalized papers and leaned over to his napping comrade and shook his side a little to wake him up. He almost instantly shot up like a spring. the blanket flying

"Msosorrydidntmeantosleep." he mumbled, rubbing his face groggily and trying to sit up, to look dignified. Aizen just smiled, as usual, taking the blanket from him folding it up a little.

"It's my fault for keeping you so long. I put off my paperwork again."

Gin didn't reply, only felt awful for sleeping on the job, he should have never gotten so comfortable.

"I'd say you're normally in bed by now, but I've got several reports of you feeling quite tired during the day."

Gin instantly flushed red and bowed several times apologetically.

"I'm so sorry," Gin said "I've been staying up to late, I'll try harder sir. I'm sorry."

Aizen dropped his smile a little bit.

"I wouldn't say that, I know you've been trying."

"No sir, I'm sorry."

"No, please Gin." Aizen stopped him. "I didn't call you here to tell you off,"

Gin sat straighter, unsure what to say next.

"It was the same way with Kaname when I told him," Aizen said nicely. Gin perked his head a little.

"Kaname Tousen?"

"Yes, it was the same with him, he had the same doubts you had."

"Please captain, I don't have any-

"Be honest Gin." Aizen smiled

He felt the words dying in his mouth. He bowed his head a little. Gin felt like he was going to die, he was already being treated like an idiot. Aizen tousled his hair in an almost fatherly way.

"I want you to relax," Aizen murmured softly, "It's hard to believe, but the plan is flawless and you are an amazing asset to the cause. You must believe that."

Gin didn't say anything, he felt tears coming to his eyes, he thought of Rangiku and his teachers, and all the people in his squad, if following Aizen meant hurting them, was it really worth that? Was it selfish to do as he was told?

He missed having guidance, guidance that was clear and simple and didn't interefere, he missed school. Was he really ready for the real world?

"I just... I'm afraid." Gin admitted feeling useless. "But I want to help."

He felt tears coming and bowed his head as far as it would go.

Very slowly, Aizen wrapped his arms around his vice captain, it wasn't uncomfortable or confusing, but just very nice, knowing that even though he was unsure, Aizen was there to help and guide him.

"I'm not going to make you hurt your friends," Aizen said softly, wrapping him up in the blanket again. "It's hard for anybody, to choose their captain or their entire life in the seireitei. It's an incredible act of loyalty, which I'm grateful for."

Gin drew in a shaky breath, hiccuping slightly and trying to stop crying.

"I know you didn't mean for this, but in the end, you'll like it, trust me." Aizen added. "You just have to trust me."

He let go of Gin slowly, it was his time to choose.

"I'm dizzy," Gin sighed. "My stomach feels sick."

"I'll make you some tea."

Aizen stood up and let Gin rest while he brewed some chamomile tea. Gin lay, crying softly, very tired and confused at the same time. He hadn't eaten much today either and he felt awful. He couldn't think anymore that day, he hovered, rather, in a state much like sleep in which he stared at Aizen's wall.

"Here." He handed him a cup full of camomile tea. He wasn't much of a tea drinker, but he took it carefully and drank it, feeling the warmth wash over him. The twichy scary feeling he had was ebbing away.

"You need to get some sleep, I'd like you to take a day off tomorrow if you feel the same in the morning."

"But Captain-

"I think I can handle myself for one day," He smiled, "Just drink your tea, don't worry."

He felt a little bad for doubting his captain, and even resenting him for expecting so much of himself. He really was a good man, he just had his own aspirations. Who was to say he was betraying Soul Society? He would be making a new world. He wouldn't be making him kill Rangiku. He only wanted help, in the end.

"Captain, would it be alright if I stayed the night?" Gin asked quietly, he set his empty cup aside and drew the blanket closer to him. His place of lodging wasn't far away, but it was late, he didn't feel like walking back.

Aizen grinned and nodded, he took his empty cup to the kitchen to be cleaned and went to fetch him a futon from the closet.

He was Aizen's vice, therefore he would follow him as long as he could. He would learn bankai and find a way to help his captain as much as possible. He was in too deep to back out now.

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Just a quick story. I had this really weird craving to write a cute Gin Uke fic. This'll do. I started the next chapter for _Masked Child_ and It should be ready soonish. Review if you want. I just wrote it for me.

KISHIRE!


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